Whatever you do, don’t let yourself burn out. That advice is a key to success whether you are a man, a woman, or anything in between or outside of that. Don’t let yourself burn out.
It can be really easy to get fatigued by the whole process of looking for a partner. Depending on your luck? Or lack of it? It’s way too easy to be left at the end becoming increasingly bitter towards the entire gender you are chasing. Before you know it? You’ll be acting as if all women held a big secret meeting where they decided to shun you.
Take a Break
Once you are feeling that way you are done. From that point forward, it will only get worse trying to continue talking to anybody. Take a break from the process at that point.
If there are some low-hanging fruit you can pick in the meantime without hurting anybody, consider going for that to help boost your confidence. Don’t let yourself burn out.
If you are open-minded enough and know one is available, go bang a trans girl or something. To those not that open-minded, sure, it might sound kind of gay. But overall? What sounds more gay? Getting a bj from somebody that looks, acts, and talks just like a woman, or sitting around all night rubbing a dick?
If You Are Openly Minded
If you have the means, and it’s legal where you live, or at least not fully criminalized, consider hiring a professional companion. Going that route? Try to find a site where people can post reviews on local girls. Try your best to research whether or not they are legitimate. And don’t send anybody cash in advance, because there is at least a 50% chance, or worse you are just getting scammed.
If you are a ‘normal’ person with a great, understanding, and supportive network of friends and/or family, spend a bit of time with them to recharge your batteries. It will be harder to pull off for some than others. But either way, don’t let yourself burn out. I can’t stress that enough. Don’t become cynical and jaded. Don’t let yourself burn out.
Being Rejected Hurts
Some people will respond very callously to another person expressing pain upon being rejected. Once, or repeatedly.
While there is a lot of truth that we all need to develop a thicker skin to being shut down and shut out? It doesn’t hurt to acknowledge it. Because it does hurt. To be rejected causes activity in all the same ways and places as if you were being physically beaten.
It’s even worse a lot of the time because of the way it erodes your self-esteem. It’s exceedingly difficult to experience rejection, and for that not to affect your confidence unless you are a sociopath or something. Even most sociopaths get hurt by rejection.
Some people will respond very callously to another person expressing pain upon being rejected. Once, or repeatedly. While there is a lot of truth in your need to develop a thicker skin to being shut down and shut out, it doesn’t hurt to acknowledge it. It does hurt.
To be rejected causes activity in all the same ways and places as if you were being physically beaten. Except it’s even worse a lot of the time because of the way it erodes your self-esteem. It’s exceedingly difficult to experience rejection, and for that not to affect your confidence unless you are a sociopath or something. Even most sociopaths get hurt by rejection.
Why does it hurt so much? Taking the perspective of an evolutionary psychologist, it actually makes a lot of sense. We are driven to reproduce, pass along our genes, and ensure the survival of our species in the process. That’s why we have sex drives in the first place. That’s why we developed in such a way that sex is so much damn fun.
To be rejected means you failed in your attempt to link up with somebody, and if that was your only chance at it, then that means your bloodline is going to go extinct.
Humans Are Social Creatures
Don’t let yourself burn out.
It’s more than just that. Humans are social creatures that have relied upon groups for survival going back to the dawn of mankind. You can survive just fine as a solitary individual in the modern world. You might perish earlier than otherwise because of how toxic being lonely is. But you can get by.
The average human will live 65 years longer than a tiger, twice as long as a chimp, hippo, or bird, and 10 – 15 years longer than a crocodile. But if you take one of each of those, and put them together on a deserted island, the human is very likely going to die first, and if not first, then definitely 2nd.
Sure, you could argue that a skilled enough outdoorsman might win that challenge. Most people couldn’t. Even those that could only be able to pull it off using technology others had invented. With knowledge, other people would have had to teach him. And only after other people had spent the first 12 – 13 years of their lifetime protecting them from harm.
At birth, 6 months, 1 year, 2 years, and 3 years of development, humans are the most helpless species that exist compared to our final form. The other animals are built in such a way as to have to contend with predators almost from day 1. There is nothing else out in nature that develops as much outside of the womb or egg as humans do.
Being Outcasted Meant Dying For Most of Human History
To be rejected means you are to some degree outcasted. That often meant being exiled, or at least at risk of being cut loose. If you were skilled enough socially, and your behavior was just right, you could sometimes manage to stick around beyond that, but doing so probably meant having to adopt a more subordinate role, and submitting to the more capable members of the group.
As you see in the animal kingdom, some would rather choose death over a life like that. For many animals, those are the only options. Become the alpha, become subordinate to the alpha, and hope you can stick around, die trying to take their place, or be exiled and die alone.
We Needed Each Other to Survive
If you were antisocial, or simply didn’t develop well enough socially quickly enough, it often meant being cast out from the group. Being cast out from the group was essentially a death sentence. We needed each other to survive. Even the strongest among us. The few that can manage today only do so because knowledge accumulated over many generations, with the help of technologies invented by those who came before us.
That’s why we are so compelled to go along with the group. To seek approval from the group. Sure, people will try telling you it’s unhealthy to have your self-worth tied to what others think of you, but that’s bs. Our self-worth is so strongly linked to what others think of us that it can’t possibly be separated.
The Pain of Rejection Is To Compel Us To Change
If you don’t think you have that issue, do it? You are just lying to yourself. Don’t? Yo next most likely answer as to why is that you simply lack the self-awareness to recognize it. If you truly don’t care, then you are a rare breed. Rare because for 99.999% of human existence, that quality would have been the reason why you didn’t pass on your genes, were exiled into the wilderness alone, and died young.
The pain of rejection is there to help us survive and live longer. Even the effects rejection causes within us. To be left feeling down, and wanting to give up trying, was your best survival strategy for most of existence if you were not capable enough to attract a mate and strong enough to fight off other challengers.
In the same way sticking your hand in a fire results in intense pain as a way to warn you not to do that again, being rejected causes pain too as a warning that you need to act in some way to either up your game, increase your capabilities, submit, or die alone without passing on your genes.
Don’t Let Yourself Burn Out
Don’t let yourself burn out. It’s so important. Don’t let yourself burn out.
It will quickly spiral out of control like a snowball rolling down a hill, growing in size and speed with every turn until it’s an unstoppable force of destruction. Burning out leads to frustration. If you are frustrated, you are not very likable. And if you somehow are, it’s a testament to just how likable you were to begin with, because you are going to be liked a lot less than you would have been otherwise.
Don’t let yourself burn out. Don’t let yourself burn out. It will lead to so many factors working against you. You can begin to lose hope and have your positive mindset come unraveled. A loss of confidence. You can end up becoming desperate. It can lead to becoming a misogynist.
Don’t Be An Asshole
In a strange way, becoming a misogynist can help improve your ability to land a partner. But I would argue against going in that direction. It will lead to hollow victories. You can cheat your way to some success. You can even cheat your way to the very top if you are deceptive enough and have the help of somebody brilliant enough so that you are on the very cutting edge of innovation.
Even in those instances, you get found out. You might have been treated as a champion or legend for a time. But in the end, you are not remembered as a legend. You live on as somebody forever remembered as a disgrace.
While you can make yourself more attractive to some women if you were to intentionally become a misogynist, you will still need to have capable enough social skills to attract a partner. While it will enhance your value to specific women, it also means you are cutting yourself off almost completely from quality partners.
You are going to end up with a damaged individual who is going to end up leaving you sometime after you’ve fallen in love with them. It would be a pairing that would be dysfunctional, and almost certain to flame out hurting everyone involved.
Be Talking To At Least 2 Girls
One of the best ways you can lessen the pain of rejection is to make sure you are talking to at least 2 girls at once. It will go a long way towards blunting the impact that rejection would otherwise have if you were not singularly focused on them. If you are juggling a few, then having one crash out is not really a big deal, there are back-ups.
You think you are tough and can take it. Well, minimizing the fallout is just a fringe benefit. There is in having somebody else that you can practice your material with. Try out different jokes and attempts at flirtation. The main benefit is really in how not only prevents you from coming across as desperate but helps you create a slightly aloof vibe. Creating that sort of vibe is key to winning over women.
Don’t Let Yourself Burn Out
It’s perfectly fine to show interest in a woman, but there is a tipping point where you come across as too into them. Or that you have nothing else going on. It suggests to a woman that she is of higher value than you are. Women date across, and upwards. Women don’t pursue somebody they see as lower status than themselves. There is also a universal human element involved in that we don’t truly appreciate things we never had to work for.
Showing yourself to be too easy to her? That you are one extended eye contact away from being wrapped entirely around her finger without her having had to do a thing, then you are like a bit of money somebody gave to a wealthy child. More money is always nice, but unless you make her work for it a little bit, then there is no respect or genuine appreciation for your being available to her.
Matthew 25:29
I don’t normally preach religion as I am not really much of a religious person. But organized religions are just one of the reasons the bible is the best-selling book of all time. It’s also an ancient book about philosophy, morality, and a general guide as to how a person can live a happy and fulfilling life in this world. It’s jam-packed full of prescient quotes that are as valid today as the day they were written. As for Matthew 25:29, the quote is,
Don’t let yourself burn out. If you let yourself get too far down, life will seize the opportunity to kick you at that precise moment that it is gonig to hurt the worst. It’s not fair. Life isn’t fair. It’s just the way it is. Depending on a variety of factors, trying to meet a partner can feel as awful as it would trying to win a boxing match where you get to throw just one punch each round. It’s easy to lose focus as you are getting pummeled.
If you check out mentally, you have already lost. The game may feel rigged against you, but if you stay alert and keep your head about you, you can still beat the odds even in a situation like that. If you are striking in the perfect moments, targeting those strikes to the perfect spot, and hitting with the correct speed and force required, your story can still can happily ever after.
Don’t let yourself burn out. I mean it. Don’t let yourself burn out.
